Friday, May 1, 2009

Life & Death

I never thought life would be like this. For me i have had to fight for most of what i got, now i feel like everytime i turn around i am struggling for something. Keeping my home life up, spending time with my family, paying bills, getting used to the new job. To some people this may be easy, for me its easier said than done. The smallest of luxuries can cause conflict in my marriage and the smallest of statements. I will be happy once i get used to the new work schedule.

Both of the boys are growing so quickly, and i will miss some pretty big moments of Richard's but somebody has to work. I hope i made the right decession about this job. Lord please help i feel a sense of dispair and need you i am so low now i could let go and come home. I feel like a child right now instead of a husband or father its more like a failure.